She couldn’t quite place me and asked: “Are you here for an eyebrow wax? You come here for that right?”
“No… Though actually I didn’t know you did that here,” I replied.
“Oh yes! Here let me get you a brochure. See? We do eyebrow waxing, bikini waxing, eyelash extensions…”
[Insert record scratch here.]
Yes, gentle reader, apparently there is something called eyelash extensions. You can pick your color, length, and fullness. They look real and natural–well, they might if you were a deer or cow. But that’s not the best part…
They only cost $300!! Huzzah! If you’re pressed for cash, you can even get something called a “half set” (a little Clockwork Orange action, perhaps?) for a mere $150. They last up to three months and after that it’s only $50 for touch-ups or whatever.
This is how I know this woman was clueless: She looked at me in sweatpants, moonboots and makeup-less face and came to the conclusion that I am the type of person who a) would pay to have more hair added to my face and b) Has $300 just sitting around apparently waiting to be set on fire.
First I’m amazed that someone with $300 to spare isn’t off buying shoes with it. Or massages. Even in the realm of self-gratifying, fairly useless purchases there are far better things to waste your money on. Is this procedure even hygienic? Seems like a doctor should be extending your eyelashes not some random salon employee. This is the single most shocking thing I’ve heard all day—except possibly that my recently divorced dad is dating. Lord ‘a’ mercy.
Photo by: mpisti
This post was originally published on The Adventures of Sally Tomato, Cosmonaut in 2009.