When my mother was growing up in Spanish Harlem, folks used to put a whole pizza or even a turkey into a baby carriage, cover it up with a blanket, and stroll it right in.
My family still loves to sneak some food into a movie theater. Mami, now a pastor, still rationalizes breaking the rules with the fact that her snacks are healthier than anything you can buy at the theater. Titi and I just like to feel naughty. And we’re cheap.
Here’s a tip from me to you: Think twice about sneaking in a burrito. Seems like a great idea, right? Well, it is if you want to find sticky rice encrusted to your butt after the movie.
All the problems started when I removed the foil because it was making so much noise. A ton of stuff fell out. Nothin’ weird goin’ on here, Guy Behind Me. Just picking black beans and grains of rice out of my lap. I could barely enjoy the blessed thing, worried as I was about the sound and the smell. Soooo… Learn from my mistake tonight, and stick with these more sneakable foods:
- Homemade popcorn. Obvious.
- If you’re at Woodland, guac and chips from the Tex-Mex restaurant nearby and Godiva chocolates from the mall. Chips are really best for action movies because all the explosions cover up the sound of the crunching.
- If you’re at Knapp’s corner, Crackerjack, CafÃ© Solace comfort cookies, and Ben & Jerry’s from Meijer. Just make sure you can eat an entire pint or have someone to share it with. A half-pint of soupy, melted ice cream will totally blow your cover.
- Bring your own water. Seriously.
- Leftover pizza is pretty much solid gold.
- Sushi, just be careful with the soy sauce.
Photo by: Mr. Ducke